Where does empathy come from?

What is empathy?

Technically speaking, it is “the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner”. But what does that mouthful of jumbled words really mean to us?

To be honest, I never really knew what empathy meant. Like many other people, I misconceived the meaning of this word by equating it sympathy and “feeling bad” for someone. I never thought about what it actually means to empathize with someone.

However today in English, I was challenged to look deeper into the meaning of the word empathy and what it means to empathize. Empathy is not the same as sympathy. While sympathy is feeling bad for someone, empathy is feeling for someone. Empathy is being able to put yourself in another’s shoes and feel the emotion they feel.

The real topic we talked about was how does one develop empathy? The class had a variety of opinions. Some people believed that the extent to which someone can empathize is strictly genetic—some people are simply more emotional than others and can empathize easily. Some people that that empathy is developed overtime through your own personal experiences. Others thought that empathy developed at a young age and that techniques for feeling empathy could be taught at a young age. However I am still perplexed by the concept of empathy. How do you think empathy develops in a person?

Other options following high school?

Senior year ends, you graduate high school, you have one short summer left at home, and then off you go onto another chapter of your life—college. Just as one thing ends, another begins. Being a senior in high school right now, it seems like the idea of college is being thrown at me everyday. We talk about it at school, with our counselors, with our friends, and especially with our parents. It seems like going to college is just a given. Everyone goes to college and if you don’t go to college you are dumb.

But why the rush in going to college? Why do we never stop? We are on this fast-moving train with our lives somewhat planned out for us and I think many people, including myself, don’t realize that there our other options out there for us, other paths to take.

Many high school seniors in increasing numbers are looking into the idea of a “gap year”. A gap year is the term for the year off that some students decide to take following their senior year of high school. However there are many misconceptions surrounding the term “gap year”. Many parents stray away from the idea and it is often thought of as just a way to procrastinate college, avoid applications, or sit around for a year and be lazy. However, most students use this year to take time to travel, volunteer, or study abroad. It is not just a way to avoid college—most continue with college applications. Many colleges are supportive of beneficial and productive “gap years” and will offer the option for students to defer admission for a year. So why take a gap year? What’s the point?

The real issue is, how many people are truly ready for college when they graduate high school? Very few people actually know what they want to major in and what they want to do. In fact, very few people even know what majors are out there and what types of jobs can be acquired from different majors. On the one hand, that’s what college is for: trying on different things to see what fits. But on the other hand sending a confused and un-prepared kid to college is like sending a kid who’s not very hungry to an all you can eat buffet. Although a gap year is not right for everyone, for some students it could be a chance to take a break from the intense pressure of high school and to take a step back and think about what you really want to do with your life. (link)

Thanksgiving in Other Cultures?

Thanksgiving is a very peculiar holiday to me. It has always been a holiday that my family, along with most other Americans, has celebrated and I usually don't think twice about it. In our culture, it is just so regular and so traditional. It has become so ingrained in our culture that I think many people don't really understand what it is about.

It is not until we can take a step back from our own culture that we realize that we don't really know what we are celebrating. This realization came to me when I was talking to a friend of mine. This is friend of mine is Israeli and moved to the United States just a few years ago. When talking to her on thanksgiving, she told me that being a foreigner, she doesn't really understand Thanksgiving and we celebrate this holiday. To be honest, I had never really thought about this. Thanksgiving is a holiday derived by American culture. It is such a big deal here but to people from other countries, it doesn't really make much sense. This prompted me to wonder if there are other cultures that have similar holidays to Thanksgiving or if Thanksgiving is strictly an American kind of thing. It seems that Thanksgiving is often stereotyped as a very "American" holiday, derived by American people as just another reason to celebrate and eat. Many foreigners and even many Americans don't seem to understand the point of this holiday. However despite much stereotyping towards the American holiday of thanksgiving, I found that many other countries have very similar traditions. Some examples of these traditions are as follows: link

1. August Moon Festival- China

2. Tet Trung Thu- Vietnam

3. Kwanzaa- Africa

4. Pongal- India

5. Chusok- Korea

Does age=intelligence?

In English class, we recently read a chapter from “Metaphors We Live By” by George Lakoff and Mark Johnson. (link) This chapter analyzed metaphors in our society that are used so often that we aren’t even aware of them. Some examples of these metaphors are “Time is Money” and “Argument is War”. These are just two metaphors that have become common assumptions in society. They are so common that we often don’t even realize that these metaphors exist. After reading this chapter I started to think, what other metaphors subconsciously dictate our life? One specific metaphor that I have noticed in our society is “Age is Wisdom”. Many people live under the assumption that wisdom automatically comes along with age and that the older you are, the more intelligent you are. The number of years you have lived is used to define your intelligence. One area where this metaphor is especially prevalent is teenagers. There are distinct stereotypes surrounding the judgment, intelligence, and maturity of people within the teenage years. Here are some examples that I have noticed of how people view age in our world.

1. “She’s young, she didn’t know any better.”

If a teenager messes up or does something completely wrong, sometimes age can be used as an excuse. As if youth means that the person who blundered simply does not have the intelligence or wisdom to have realized they were making a mistake. In this way, we attach a negative connotation with the word young using it to mean stupid or immature.

2. “I hate teenagers.”

An old man I know always says this about teenagers. My teacher in fifth grade also made similar remarks by telling us to only come back and visit her when we were older. Its not that all adults actually hate teenagers, but there are definitely negative stereotypes surrounding teenagers. Teenagers are generally viewed as immature, unwise, and just plain annoying.

3. “She is so mature for her age.”

I’ve had many adults and relatives in my life say this about my sister and me to my parents. As if given our age we should be immature? We live under that teenagers are immature and thus when we happen to encounter a relatively mature and intelligent teenager, we are surprised. This person is “too m

Is this a valid metaphor to live by? On the one hand, I would say yes. Generally, older people are wiser than younger people because they have experienced much more and have gained knowledge and understanding through experience. In this way, age is a valid measure of wisdom. But on the other hand, is this always the case? I don’t think it is fair to say that all teenagers are less wise than all elderly people. Some young people are actually very mature and wise. Nonetheless, these stereotypes surrounding teenagers help support and underlying metaphor that we live by.

Analyzing this metaphor also got me thinking on a broader question: should we question these metaphors we live by? In some ways, I believe it is important that we recognize the metaphors we live by but are unaware of because these metaphors are often times not 100 percent valid.

Who creates stigmas?

“A quick quiz for you: You have friends coming over for dinner, and your antidepressant is in its usual place, the kitchen counter Do you:

A) leave it where it is, since you have nothing to hide?

B) put it in the cupboard to make more room for food?

C) stick it in the cat food bag, where no one will find it?

D) put it on the table so you’ll remember to compare notes with your friends who are on other medications?

Next question: Would it be different if your medication was for your diabetes? What about if it were for an STD? Erectile dysfunction? Cancer? AIDS?”

-Jenise Harmon

This excerpt is from an article I recently read titled “Stigma, Mental Illness and Shame” by Jenise Harmon, posted on the World of Psychology blog. (Blog post here) After reading her interpretation on the matter, it really got me thinking about stigma. What is a stigma? And where do stigma’s originate from? According to Merriam Webster, a stigma is “a mark of shame or discredit”. A stigma is usually associated with societal norms. If you have a mental disorder, you aren’t considered “normal” by society.

However, in today’s world, how much do societal norms play into stigmas? Harmon points out the great leaps that have been made in the acceptance of mental illnesses. Back in the day, people would be kept away from society if they had a mental illness, in insane asylums or other such places. Yet today, people generally are much more educated about mental illnesses. We learn about what they are in school and more importantly, how many people are actually affected by them. To our surprise, mental illness is actually quite common and having a mental illness is considered more normal than at used to be.

Despite this deeper education and understanding, stigmas still exist. In some ways, I think stigmas are developed within us. If I were to find out that one of my family members or friends had a mental illness, that wouldn’t change my perception of them. I don’t see mental illness in other as a weakness or a flaw. However if I myself had a mental illness, I’m not sure I would feel be comfortable being completely open about this. If I were to answer the questions Harmon proposed in her quiz, I think I would be ashamed if I myself had a mental illness. I would be embarrassed and wish to hide my anti-depressant meds if I had a mental illness. As hypocritical as it sounds, I wouldn’t judge others for their mental illnesses but I would judge myself.

In some ways, I think people with mental illnesses create stigmas within their own imaginations. While other people may not see the illness as a negative trait or a personal flaw, the person him or her self thinks that people will not be accepting and view him or her as crazy or not normal. People with mental illnesses perceive the world differently and think that people will perceive them as crazy or weird. In general, most people are pretty accepting of mental illnesses. The least accepting people are the people with mental illnesses themselves who can’t always accept themselves and their condition

So this leads me to my question: do stigmas really exist? To what extent our stigmas present in our society and to what extent are they created in our own minds and thoughts? In my opinion, I think that stigmas surrounding mental illness are often derived by the person with the illness who thinks that people are more critical than they actually are.

Who's Narrating our Media?

In English Class, we are currently reading the book "The Poisonwood Bible" by Barbara Kingsolver. This book tells the story of a missionary named Nathan Price and his family as they travel to the Congo. Most of the story is told in first person, but it is interesting to note that it is not told in first person by the same person throughout the novel. There are five main narrators in the novel: the wife, Orleana, and the four daughters--Rachel, Adah, Ruth May, and Leah. Each narrator offers a very different perspective and each narrator documents their experiences much differently.

The author can play with these different narrators and thus manipulate the story by telling it a certain way. For example, Rachel, the oldest of the four daughters, is a very materialistic girly teenage girl. As a result, when Rachel is telling the story, we get a very detailed outlook on aesthetics and appearances. Rachel notices small details about the types of clothing the Congolese people wear, the color of their skin, and their hair. Rachel's perception of things is very appearance-oriented and she seems to pick up things that other characters may not. On the other hand, there is Leah, who is extremely faithful to her religion and to her father. When Leah is narrating, she is much more focused on religion and uses more biblical references. She also talks a lot about her father and how she admires him. Adah, who is "the quiet one", offers a very objective and honest opinion. She does focus on religion but in a somewhat sarcastic way because she does not believe in it the same way Leah. Ruth May, the youngest of the daughters, also offers a very honest and bluntly racist outlook. Her telling of events reflects the racist idea of her parents that her society has instilled upon her overtime. When she is narrating, we get a very simple and overtly honest version of the story.

Each character has something very different to offer, and the author can play with these characters to tell the story she wants. She can choose to have Rachel tell the story of one specific experience and have Ruth May tell the story of another. However we must be aware of these narrators when reading the story and ask ourselves these questions: who is narrating? what part of the story are we not getting?

This picking and choosing of narrators seems to resonate deeply with the American media. In our media, we need to ask ourselves the same questions. The media tells the people what they want to hear and often times leaves out key details in facts. The government can manipulate what we are reading by choosing what to tell the people and what to leave out, just like Kingsolver does in choosing different narrators. When we are reading the media, we must understand that although what we are getting may not be wrong, it may not be and probably is not the full truth.

Who's Writing our Textbooks?

The other day in English, we read a short article titled Textbook Wars. (Article) It talked mostly about the controversy surrounding textbooks: who should write them, and how we can find a curriculum that works for all kinds of people. Many social conservatives believe that most textbooks we use today reflect a generally liberal point of view. On the other hand, many liberals believe that conservatives are rewriting textbooks that fit better with their prejudices and opinions. It is a controversy that has been around for years and probably will be around for many more: whose perspective should be taught in school?

This is a conflict that is evident in many realms of education but one subject in which it is a particular issue is history. The author in this article talked about how history would be told differently if conservatives rather than liberals told it. If conservatives told history, Thomas Jefferson, who emphasized the separation between church and state, would not be a significant historical while Ronald Reagan would be regarded as a “national hero”.

This idea really struck me. I have never really thought of our historical textbooks as taking on a liberal point of view. But then again, if this were the way it had always been taught how would we know the difference? This history that we have learned in school is what is normal to us. This is the history that we know as true so any other version of it would sound wrong or conservatively biased. However, we can’t really make that judgment if the history we know as true is liberally biased. Ironically enough, it seems like history would be the least controversial topic to teach because it is strictly based on facts rather than opinion, theories and ideas. But if we are picking and choosing what to teach, we are indirectly formulating a bias, whether that be a liberal bias or a conservative bias.

I think the main question we need to ask ourselves is when we read a history book, who is the narrator? Who is telling the story? Is the interpretation of history we get in school really the most neutral and unbiased one or is it a liberal interpretation? These are the kinds of things we need to consider in our education system. Perspective is essential in history and before we take what is fed to us as true, we should evaluate the perspective it is coming from and who’s interpretation we are really getting.

HEY

Hello all and welcome to my blog! To begin this first ever blog post of mine, I'd just like to say thanks for visiting my page. I'll be posting here every few weeks about a variety of different topics ranging from global events in Lebanon to Hamlet so get ready!

To start off, my name is Mackenzie and I am high school senior. You may be wondering, why? Well long story short, we have to create a blog for my senior year english course and here is mine! Not only did I have to create a blog, but I had to pick an overarching lens or umbrella which I will use to explore various ideas and topics throughout the year.

A theme that really interests me is the idea of perception and perspectives. When looking at the world around me, I sometimes feel like I perceive things and look at things much differently than other people. This idea of perception completely fascinates and intrigues me. Each person has such a unique way of thinking and viewing the world and no one person's perception of the world is the same as someone else's. Why do some people perceive certain things one way, while other people may perceive the same thing completely different? How do people perceive other people? How do people perceive themselves? And most importantly, why does everyone have totally different perceptions of everything? Why do people think the way they do? I can't say I can really answer any of these questions, but I will explore these ideas through a variety of topics.

As for the title of this page, well its a song. (by Brandi Carlile if you were wondering) But its really just all about looking at things in a different way and seeing things from "the outside looking in". And that's what I plan to do here: look at things through different perspectives and analyze perception and how it plays a role in our life. Thanks and stay tuned for some more good fun.